Faith & Values: The most important thing is being kind

Rabbi David's article for the Virginia Gazette, published March 22, 2026.

How do you know what the most important or significant thing is in any kind of collection? What’s the most important song on an album, episode of a TV show or chapter in a book? How do you know what is the most important teaching in a collection of wisdom or knowledge, in a lesson or sermon or in a sacred text? Can you always tell?

Like many of the other authors of the Faith & Values column, I give a talk in front of a congregation at least once a week, during which I try to impart to my audience an idea or teaching that I consider to be valuable and meaningful. These ideas and teachings range from practical applications of ancient Jewish texts, to reminders of what Jewish tradition holds dear, to new interpretations and understandings of Jewish teachings and practices.

Also like many of my clergy colleagues, I am sometimes quite explicit about the teaching that I’m trying to impart, while at other times it’s less obvious. Either way, I usually share what I consider to be an important idea that I’m hoping my community will put into practice.

The millennia-old Jewish educational tradition is also varied in its methodology, using different teaching methods to express different ideas. However, the Torah — the Five Books Of Moses, which is the primary source text of Judaism — is actually pretty specific in how it lets its readers know what it values the most. The Torah does not necessarily start, or end, with its most important teachings, nor does it highlight its most important teachings in one particular section (while many contemporary readers have come to believe that the Ten Commandments contain the Torah’s quintessential values, that has actually not been the primary understanding of Jewish scholars).

As a text that has always had different parts of it read each week, the Torah doesn’t concentrate its most important teachings in a specific one of its sections — instead, it spreads them out throughout the year-long Torah reading cycle. Then, to help you understand what it considers most meaningful, the Torah repeats itself, sharing similar lessons and teachings more than once. Sometimes, a LOT more than once.

You may know that there are two versions of the Ten Commandments in the Torah (there are some slight variations between the two versions, but they’re mostly the same). You might also know that a decent amount of the stories of the Israelites wanderings in the wilderness that are shared in the books of Exodus and Numbers, are repeated, and sometimes altered, in the book of Deuteronomy. What you may not be aware of is that there are certain teachings that are repeated over and over and over again throughout the text.

Traditional Jewish understanding is that those lessons — the ones that are most frequently repeated — are considered to be the most important values we have. What you may also not be aware of is that there is one teaching in particular that is repeated more than any other through these first five books of the Hebrew Bible — in fact, it’s repeated 36 times. That teaching is “Be kind to the stranger, because you were strangers in the land of Egypt.”

“Be kind to the stranger” is the lesson and instruction that is the most fundamental and foundational ideal of the Jewish people. It is the teaching that tells us so much about who we are supposed to be, and how we are supposed to be, in this world. It tells us to be moral and good to everyone — not only should we be kind to the people we do know, the people to whom we are likely to be naturally disposed to be kind to, but also to the people we don’t know, including those whom we might find to be strange or foreign because they’re different from us.

It tells us that we are supposed to apply the lessons and experiences that have shaped us as individuals and as a people, to the ways we interact with anyone and everyone else we encounter. It reminds us that we are supposed to be kind to both people who are similar to us and to people who aren’t — that we should treat everyone with kindness, no matter what they look like, where they come from or what they believe. That’s the kind of person we’re all supposed to be.

In a society in which it often feels like there are large and significant chasms between people who are different than you, the Torah repeatedly tells us that those differences should not determine how we treat each other. We are told to be kind to people who come from different backgrounds and places than us, to people who have different religious, social, and cultural beliefs and practices than we do, to people who speak different languages, who have different sexual orientations, and who live under different social and economic circumstances than we do.

We are told that no matter how foreign we might find those who are different than us to be, being a stranger to us should not be an obstacle to being treated with kindness and dignity. Long ago, my ancestors were strangers in a foreign land, and simply because they were different, and there were a lot of them, they were enslaved for centuries. Over and over and over again, the Torah tells us to learn from our ancestors’ experiences, and to be better, to be kinder, than the Egyptians were to us. This message is, very clearly, the Torah’s most important teaching — and it’s one that, I believe, needs to be repeated, internalized and practiced throughout our society right now .

At this moment, it feels like parts of our government, and parts of our country as a whole are going out of their way to not be kind to strangers, to not treat every human being with kindness and dignity. Suddenly removing people from their homes or their schools or their jobs is not being kind. Acting violently toward people who have sought another place to live in the hopes of a better life, even those who have done that illegally, is not being kind. Assuming that strangers have entered our country illegally, or are here in order to commit crimes is not a way of treating other human beings with kindness and dignity.

My religious tradition is extremely clear about this issue — it repeats the instruction to not act this way over and over again. A year ago, I and many of my colleagues in HART — Historic Area Religions Together — affirmed this through the following covenant. I am proud to share these words with our community again, and I invite you to take these as an explicit call to treat other people with the dignity and kindness that all human beings deserve:

“Believing that all people are created in the image of God, we affirm the inherent dignity, worth and sacred belovedness of each and every person. We celebrate the diversity of humanity — people of all races, religions, identities and expressions of love and life — and of all creation. And we call on our leaders to treat all our neighbors with respect, compassion and equal protection under the law.

Our beliefs and traditions compel us to stand in solidarity with those who are hurting and most vulnerable. And the U.S. Constitution protects our religious freedom to embrace, serve and defend these fellow children of God without government interference. We call on our neighbors of all religions — or none at all — to join us in seeking respect, kindness and justice for all people.”